Timbalands and Girbauds? Really???

So I want to make something clear- I am not single because I don't try, I DO put myself out there and meet people. A few weekends ago I was at my friends bachelorette party and ended up meeting a nice guy who I talked to all night long. We added each other on facebook, exchanged numbers, and said we would talk again soon. Not so much. After all that talk he ended up not calling me at all, so I bit the bullet and texted him. He texted back but it was all small talk and then........ nothing. NOTHING. I decided to not worry about it, but I cant say it didn't bother me when I saw his facebook status changed to "In a Relationship" this weekend. It just reminds me how forgettable I am. Yea yea I know it wasn't meant to be, but still! Just a brutal reminder.

So then this weekend at the wedding for that bachelorette, there was some drama. My friend ordered a photo booth to come to her wedding reception so the wedding guests could get their pictures taken and the bride and groom would have fun keepsakes to take home. WELL, they were supposed to arrive at 4:30pm to set up so that it was all ready to go when the guests began to arrive, but lo and behold come 5:30pm, no one is there! So I began calling the company and long story short, the person that was supposed to be at the wedding was MIA so they made some arrangements and promised a new person would come by 8:00pm- FOR FREE (Thank you very much). Well after 9:00pm the photo booth finally arrived.

Let me back up a little- because this photo booth person was coming on short notice, he didn't have directions to the reception so I had to walk him through it. I told him where to turn and all so when he pulled up in his hoopty car he steps out and says "DAMN- you re who I have been talking to?!?" And I said "You're 5 hours late, I don't have time for this!" Then I helped carry in the photo booth and helped put it together because I knew the bride (one of my best friends) was really upset it was so late. Once the booth was finally up and running, the loser attendant talked me into taking pics with him to test out the colors, so I did. (See the pic below for proof).

Anyway, toward the end of the night, this guy texted me (since he had my number from my calling him for directions) and here is his text, word for word:
"When are you free? I work daytime but maybe we can do a carriage ride downtown one evening over a candlelit. Unless you want the opposite. Don't get it twisted I can get gutter and drink a forty with you. Just want you to know im hood but I dont have to show it. So whenever you are down I am just tell me whether you are down I am just tell me whether its suit and tie, or timbalands and girbauds I can adapt."

Ok, I don't expect that much but COME ON! This is what I get? Wow. Now, just when you think it cant get worse, it does. I had like 3 missed calls that night and 2 more the next morning all from a blocked number. I just ignored them since no one left a message, but later they did leave a message. I assumed it was this guy, but alas it was not. Here is what the message said (again word for word)
"Hey I guess your name is Josie or whatever, I don't mean no disrespect for calling you but you been talking to my husband **** and I am just calling to let you know that, er, you will get ahold of him better than I am- you're probably with him now. Tell him that I reported my car stolen and I want my phone and whatever. Y'all can be together-happy, whatever!"
Thats right! His WIFE called me! WIFE!!!!!! I would NEVER dream of trying to get with a married man and on top of that I was never interested in this dude! Gimme a break!

So alas, this is my life. This is why I am alone.... this is the caliber of guy I get. Thanks a lot world! What did I ever do to you??? Seriously!